


Song 1 - Please Let Me Get What I Want

by Sam I Am (Sam_I_Am89)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First War with Voldemort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1857078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_I_Am89/pseuds/Sam%20I%20Am
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short "Marauder-Era/War" one-shot inspired by "Please Let Me Get What I Want" by The Smiths - Part of the Song Fics Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song 1 - Please Let Me Get What I Want

Song i.  Please Let Me Get What I Want – The Smiths

 

_Haven’t had a dream in a long time;_

_See, the life I’ve had can make a good man bad._

_So for once in my life let me get what I want,_

_Lord knows, it would be the first time. Lord knows, it would be the first time._

 

 

He’d given up his belief in ‘just deserts’.

 From what would appear auspicious beginnings, a life that could pay for every need and luxury, he’d found that he could not stomach being a part of it, knowing what it truly was. Knowing that his father’s money also contributed to creeps like Malfoy passing easily through life, allowed him to have all the time in the world to work for his Dark Lord.

 He’d been disinherited, fallen out with almost anyone he shared blood and memories of the first 11 years of his life with and ended up on the impoverished, struggling side in a war he had no choice but to fight. Not that he would’ve chosen sitting on his arse instead.

 He stood up briefly from where he crouched, a bright sparking beam of cherry red crackling through the night from his wand, striking one of the masked men who released a shriek; he didn’t wait around to see if there would be retaliation.

 Somehow, he felt maybe he had deserved that his life had reached this point. Maybe, those times he’d bullied the house-elves at home or left Regulus locked in a trunk for an hour or told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow had all been to blame for where he was now. Covered in mud, hiding in a rudimentary trench that had been excavated in panicked seconds as vicious spell after vicious spell pummeled the ground, spraying him further with dirt. His robes were threadbare and had holes and burn marks in and his hair had had to be almost shaved off entirely only the day before after a head wound had gotten infected. Maybe he deserved this. Despite fighting the good fight, maybe he deserved the numbing grief of lost friends, the icy cold of a rainy March night, the bone-rattling explosions.

 Then again, one only had to look at Remus to know that even the attentively good could have a life full of undeserved pain.

 McGonagall appeared suddenly, glasses splattered with mud and a smear of blood from her hand that she’d tightly tied her scarf around, voice shrill above the din, “All the families have been evacuated. The Potters have been moved to Hogwarts for the time being.”

 “Lily...” He said hurriedly, “The baby...”

 McGonagall patted his shoulder, “Poppy’s looking her over; doesn’t think any significant harm was done. Now, we need to get out.”

 Sirius nodded grimly, rising once more to let loose a vivid blue hex that clung to its target as he ducked again, narrowly missing a curse himself, “We can’t risk apparation with this many spells flying about.”

 McGonagall nodded, pulling an old tin whistle from her pocket that rattled with other ‘junk’, “There’s one for all of us. I’ll set them off in two minutes.”

 He clasped the whistle tightly as his ex-professor crawled past him towards Frank and Gideon as he once again risked having his head blown off to give the Death Eaters something to think about. This time the sharp fierce heat of a dark spell ripped past his cheek at impossible speeds, missing him somehow but still scorching the skin.

 Then the whistle in his hand matched the sting of the burn on his cheek for a moment before he found himself stumbling out into the Great Hall. Immediately his eyes fell on the wizard perched on the edge of the Ravenclaw table amongst the huddles of terrified muggles, who were soon to have their memories of this night erased, gnawing his thumbnail. The wizard jumped up instantly as the Order members who’d been in the trench appeared; his head was bandaged and he had a wild look of relief on his face as he spotted Sirius and began weaving through the crowd of frightened and outraged muggles, some shouting for explanations. Everyone began hurriedly moving towards Madame Pomfrey as she entered, Dumbledore at her side; Sirius hurriedly moved towards Remus.

 Remus reached him and a tentative hand immediately rose to Sirius’ cheek, “Merlin, while most of us walk very close to the line of danger, Padfoot, you pretty much do cartwheels across it.”

 Which of course meant _‘I thought you wouldn’t come back because your head had been blown off.’_

 Sirius gritted his jaw, “Well the next time you run _towards_ Death Eaters in an attempt to save a little old lady, I won’t set up a fucking trench and ruin my third set of robes this month.”

 Which of course meant _‘I would every time.’_

 The werewolf just smiled a little wryly and nodded towards a way out. They walked into the comparative calm and silence of the corridors, ghosts heard nattering to each other and the paintings in the distance somewhere. Sirius’ eyes gave Remus a very hurried once over, which showed only a bloodied head for his heroics before asking worriedly, “Lily?”

 “The fall did no harm.” Remus rattled off quickly, “The baby’s fine, she’s just a bit shaken.”

 Sirius sighed softly and scratched at his too bare scalp feeling the wet and drying mud collecting under his fingernails. He motioned towards a favourite spot, a stone arch window that looked out towards the Lake and the mountains beyond. Remus sat down and looked up at the stars, which Sirius had forgotten about amidst the raining dirt and clouds of spell-smoke.

 He let his head thunk back against the stone and murmured, “Do you ache for a normal day, Moony? Just one day where you can see what kind of life you would’ve had without fear and... and mud.”

 Remus chuckled softly, a comforting sound Sirius had always associated with ‘home’ although he’d never really had one of his own. The werewolf rubbed at his bumped, bleeding and bandaged forehead and looked at him with old eyes, “Yes. But then I think of James and Lily, the baby...” He looked away, “I’d rather all that child’s days were normal if it means I have to be tired, cold, dirty and afraid for a while.”

 Sirius just shook his head at Remus’ characteristic selflessness.

 They sat in silence before Sirius breathed, “I just wish I had some unfounded reassurance that everything will turn out all right in the end. That I knew that the story would end with ‘Happily Ever After’ even if everything seems fucked up beyond repair.”

 He didn’t dare look at Remus, knowing he would surely be laughed at for such undeserved self-pity. Then a mouth met with the corner of his jaw. It was a soft mouth that seemed determined to press just there despite the mud and the whole never-spoken-about awkwardness and the reality of living a nightmare. Sirius shivered at the tender touch and Remus’ face pressed into his neck, fingers curling around the other side, holding Sirius firmly in place. A gentle gust of breath tickled the clammy skin beneath his Adam’s apple and he willingly gave himself over to the much wished for, but never expected touch.

 And he found he could no longer truly believe there was no hope left.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is one of five fics I wrote for a Song challenge from a friend. Five random tunes selected by the gods of fate from my music playlist; five one-shots, any fandom.
> 
> If you are curious to see what became of this, please visit my author homepage.
> 
> As always, my pet feedback monster is looking for comments for his breakfast. Any and all offerings would be much appreciated.


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